We’ve all heard that opposites attract, right? But what do you do when you’ve married your complete opposite and all those cute little quirks aren’t so cute anymore?
In our disposable society, it would be completely acceptable to claim “irreconcilable differences”, divorce, and move on. But just because this is acceptable (and maybe even expected) in our society doesn’t mean it has to be our destiny.
God’s plan for marriage is FOREVER.
My husband and I are celebrating our 23rd anniversary this week, and we plan to celebrate many more–as many as the Lord will allow. And you should know that we are 100% complete and total opposites.
How do I know this?
I mean, I kinda already knew it early on in our relationship. But it was confirmed when we were preparing to go on the mission field back in early 2012.
We were asked to take a personality assessment. The list of questions completely intimidated me, and of course, they didn’t bother him at all.
Completion of the assessment confirmed my suspicions. In fact, we took a Birkman Personality Assessment, and the Birkman professional that met with us to discuss our results said as much. She said two people couldn’t get any more opposite than we are.
So how is it that we’ve managed to thrive in a “polar opposite relationship”?
- We’ve learned to appreciate the differences. Just because my husband does something in a different way than I do, doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong. And just because I need downtime between social events doesn’t mean something is wrong with me. Different is good. I appreciate that my husband can accomplish so many things without a plan! I don’t understand how it’s possible, but I’m glad he can. His extroversion has pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me to enjoy life more. My introversion has helped him to slow down and savor the moments.
- We’ve learned to meet in the middle. Once upon a time, I was so frugal that I never allowed money to be spent on fun things. When we married, my husband was such a spender that he never balanced the checkbook and HOPED he would have money to eat on. We’ve met in the middle. I handle the budgeting and allot “fun money”, and he’s on board with it knowing he’ll never go hungry.
- We’ve learned to work together. Marriage is a wonderful way for two imperfect people to come together and be better than they were alone. I’m the saver; he’s the spender. He’s the extrovert; I’m the introvert. I’m the planner; he’s the doer. We complement each other, and by focusing on the strengths in our differences, we bring out the best in each other.
- We’ve learned to let things go. Seriously, some things are just not worth getting bent out of shape over. Who cares how the dishwasher is loaded as long as the dishes get clean?! Who cares if he does things in the complete opposite order of the way you would do it as long as it gets done? Seriously, let it go.
Finally, be encouraged. Even if you’ve married your complete opposite like I have, you can still have a fabulous marriage!
So what about you? I’d love to know if you’ve married your opposite or someone more like yourself. Either way, what are your tips for being happily married? Share below in the comments.